When my son Carmine was in fifth grade, a third grader followed him home. He was a latchkey kid whose parents worked and his older siblings were in middle school. He was such a cute little guy, so we invited him in and told him that he was welcome in our house anytime. He lived just down the street in a nearby subdivision. He became a fixture in our household. He ate with us, laughed with us, stayed with us often overnight, and became close friends with both Rose and Carmine. It felt like I had a middle child.
Theo had really nice parents and a smart and athletic older brother and sister. He often felt that he wasn’t as good as his siblings and looked to us to boost him up. I thought he was a wonderful child and loved him as if he were mine. He fell in love with my daughter and left notes for her on her bed when we went on vacation. She said that she thought of him as her brother and couldn’t consider him as anything else. It was a little sad, but I understand exactly what she meant.
It felt like Theo was with us for everything. We took him river rafting with us, on hikes to yurts in the mountains, and on trips to water parks, amusement parks, county fairs, renaissance fairs, and whatever other activity we were engaged in. He was always enthusiastic and happy. When Carmine befriended Dave and Samuel, those four became my boys. Dave declared that my house was “The Sanctuary”, and they were there pretty much every day. I loved them all unconditionally! When Theo was a sophomore in high school, he stayed overnight at our house and had a dream that I was pregnant. In the morning he told everybody, including my mother. My daughter was mad and insisted that I get a pregnancy test and it turned out to be positive. Theo decided that he was a prophet.
Theo graduated and went to college in northern Idaho. He did not keep in touch except when he was home in the summer. He quit college and got a really good job with benefits and had a girlfriend. One morning in January, I got a call from Carmine telling me that Theo had been in a car accident and died. He tells me now that if he had stuck to the plan with me and married Rose that everything would’ve been OK. He’s back with us now and lets us know pretty regularly.
Three days after he died, I sensed that someone was in the bathroom with me while I was brushing my teeth. I said, “Hi, Theo,” and he replied, “I’m just here.” Ten minutes later, Rose called up the stairs to tell me that Theo was standing in her doorway. I said that I knew that because he had already visited me upstairs. We were both glad that he was with us again! After that he started to move things around.
My son Cam, the child who was born after Theo’s dream, had a bright blue sweatshirt from Stanley, Idaho. He loved the sweatshirt but couldn’t find it. We looked everywhere for it: all over the house, at friends houses, at the school lost and found. One day it showed up folded on our futon couch in the TV room. I called to my husband and said, “It showed up!” We both knew that it was Theo. The next thing that disappeared was a pair of my pants, and they showed up two weeks later on top of the pile that they had disappeared from. Then a pair of my husband’s socks disappeared and came back two weeks later. It’s happened with avocados, lip gloss, and various other things. He wanted to know how to let his parents know he was still around because his mother was desperate to know. We suggested that he turn on and off the TV or lights or anything really. He must’ve made some thing happen because he assured us that they noticed.
When I got divorced and moved back into the house that I grew up in, Theo came with me. Cam’s father saw a wine bottle move across the top of my refrigerator and throw itself on the floor. Lights were turning on and off. Theo carved his birthday into Rose’s bedside table. I had to tell him to not destroy wine bottles, turn lights on, and off, or deface the furniture .
Rose lives in another town now and keeps missing her spoons. They will be gone for a couple days and then show up again. We all know that Theo loves her and wants to remind her that he’s there. The latest thing to go missing is my password book. He says that he will put the book back quite soon. He says that he hopes that my brother will believe that he’s around when that happens. Since my brother doesn’t believe any of this, I hope so too!
Leave a Reply